%CELEBRATE

6:03 AM

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Time really flies. 2009 seems to be a pretty short year to me as I have tried stuffs that i never tried before: the first time to go on a business trip, the first time to go on a tour myself, the first time to experience a flood , the first time to drink so much of alcohol, first time get sick during Christmas and lost all the fun...

2009 can be considered to be a hectic work year ( as work plays a major part in my life in 2009) and also an enriching year as i gained lots of society knowledge : How to "teh" my way thru, how to lie with my eyes wide open... And from all the injuries i gained from, i learnt something and try not to make the same mistake again..

2010 resolution:

Try to have a work life balance. ( This is one which i still don't get it even though my boss preach this a couple of times)
Not to bring work back home to do. This is the top priority which I muz learn.
Not to be too kind.Due to this, I have unnecessary workload
Try not to give suggestion. Normally whateva suggestion i give, in the end it becum my responsibility.
look for a new pasture. ( KIV)
Diet!
Gambette on my Jap!

Above seems to be attainable.. *twist my finger.

4:22 AM

Friday, December 11, 2009

My one week holiday is almost over soon. Haiz. Good times really flies. However, i did a lot of reflections.

Nv be too KPO. Things that are not within my scope of supply, SIAM.

Nv have too much expectation. If things doesn't cover your expectation, at least you will not feel such a big disappointment

Muz be Zai. I finally get the meaning of zai. It means to take your pace, no matter how pp chase you like mad dog, you still have to maintain your posture.

Sianz... I really dun like to go back to work...

Last night, I was chit chatting with a friend on stars. Then, it brought us to the topic of what seeing a shooting star symbolise. Out of curiosity and find the below explanation:

Shooting star symbolizes a brief fleeting moment in ones life just like the
brief wonder of seeing a shooting star race across the night sky. They can also
be a symbol of reaching ones ultimate destiny.Shooting stars, asteroids, and the
movement of the heavenly bodies in the night sky have always fascinated to
humans. Some cultures have always had strong beliefs and superstitions in the
meaning of shooting stars.

Traditionally shooting stars also meant a new birth
and changes in ones life and also a wish for a better life.http://www.tao-of-tattoos.com/shooting-s…In old Greece falling stars were believed to be rising or falling human souls. Aristophanes spoke of "souls of poor people, drunkenly walking home after they had dinner at a rich star". According to Jewish and Christian tradition fallen stars reflect fallen angels and demons.Nowadays, in certain parts of Asia people believe a falling star is a bad omen: the "tears from the moon about the lost sunbride" would predict war, death or demise of a close person. According to more common belief though, it's a good omen, cause when one makes a wish when one sees a falling star, the wish will come true.
In Europe at the time when the Greek astronomer Ptolemy's view of the cosmos as a universe of interlocking spheres became the orthodoxy, there was a widely accepted and very poetic explanation for "falling stars" which was entirely consistent with other deeply held beliefs of the time.It was thought that the gods, overwhelmed with curiosity, would sometimes look at the earth from between the spheres, and that in that instant a star or two might slip through the gap and become visible as a falling or shooting star. Since the gods were clearly peering down at that very moment, it was considered an excellent opportunity to voice one's wishes with the guarantee that the gods would hear them. This is probably where the idea of wishing on a falling or
shooting star comes from. Similar superstitions are widespread even in cultures
remote from Europe: in Chile, you must pick up a stone in the same moment, and
in the Philippines tie a knot in a handkerchief.

11:30 AM

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Today i was feeling super disappointed when i come to know that a job is being assigned to A and when I come to know that banana is helping me to fight for bonus. Mr Tt's reaction is that just show A where the information are stored and that's all. I suddenly feel a pinch in my heart. All my hard work of colliding to wall just hand it over to people like that. A job that I suppose that i'm the person who is most familiar with the proj ( the proj spec the same, just a change in product). Initially, I thought this disappointment comes about how much I wanted this project and just feel sad that I could so easliy being replaced. I was thinking I'm a pervert, how come suddenly wanted this project, while the day before was hoping that i will not be doing the project at all.

After talking to KW, i really realise the root of my disappointment. I wanted to get recognised, not so easily being replaced in work. Incidents started to flash back which make me even more disappointment. ..

1. Tt is a real impatient mentor. He did mentioned b4, he is willing to coach me. He is the person who know that i have zero knowledge in this field and will need guidance. When come to real stuff that you do not understand, he will ask you to consult the da gege, or insult you , " dont tell me you are here so long, you still do not understand . . . " this statement really create a big impact on me and i nv ask him again.I will not have such a reaction if i'm guilty of that, but it was the first time i come across that.

2. The value of me in that area. Everyone in the room seems to have his speciality. Esp LD and A are specialised in some technical aspect (PS: the LD and A are considered his Right and left hand), even the IN are proficient in certain area. What about me? Mr Tt initially mentioned " I will not put all eggs in one basket", thus certain reports he will ask me to be in charge. Within weeks, he take that responsibility from me and give it to LD. See, how double standard is he. When i was handling this proj, he mentioned " now you are the only one who is specialized in this area" that is why i work super hard for this, and willing to work day and night for it, coz i expect i will really learn something that has high barrier. But poof, today he just proved what he say is untrue by assigning to A, ( is not that i handle but assist by A).This only give me a feeling that i am easily replacable. What i have been doing, all hard works are just nothing. Thinking back, what LD, A and IN know, i have no knowledge of that and they are unwilling to share. However, whatever i have knowledge of, they knew that. here are not the only 2 incidents. The most great disappointment is that whatever Mr Tt says wasn't words of honesty.To them, I'm just an admin staff, a replacement, some one who back up them and assistant.

Banana still does not understand the meaning of my words behind that my leaving of the area may due to emotional reason. He still thought the main reason i can't stand is that no guidance is given, no official training or impart in the technical skill. my main reason of leaving is because of the great disappointment i have with the team, with Mr Tt. I have lost trust in LD and IN, and have lost faith in Tt. Although I already decided to leave and is looking for job, but this incident spark me to be even more active. There's no reason for me to stay on, no more tears shed on these.They seems not to understand what i value is not monetary value, but recognition..Though a lot of pp did tell me that outside world is not like what i am in now, i am still willing to work here if i get the recognition i deserve. But i don't. Think the thing that goes really wrong is that I have too high an expectation how a working life should be like.My error is that I really forget my position and the work scope I suppose to do. I should not have expectation on my bosses that i will be appreciated. So work hard will lead you no way.

Ever since banana joins in, i shed even more tears when he started to preach to me work life balance. I realise i have been a backup, a rubbish dump ( do jobs that pp will not like to do, either is too tedious, or not their scope of excellence) . Bleak. I started to tink what I have learn the past 1.5 yrs..

1. Not to have high expectation

2. Do not even expect, as no expectation lead to no disppointment

3. The world is unfair; there will be cases people take your credit for their own use, or take your credit and give to other pp.

anyway, have to thank for all the lessons they give me. Because of this, i started to know myself a bit better.I'm actually not an angel. I do not have this selfless spirit just to share knowledge openly to other. I'll still perserve on and finished the project to thank those who really appreciated me. Gambette!

5:53 AM

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

今天不知道为了什么，虾米心情十分闷。前一天是发生了一点小事，让它有点匪夷所思。。

以下是发生在虾米身上的事。。。。

前天，香蕉叫虾米去谈谈。它谈了所谓的work-life balance.haiz...但香蕉永远也不明白虾米的痛苦。虾米是如此多么想不去想工作的事。但它必定只是一只虾米，一只被吹一下就会飞掉的虾米。很多东西不是虾米可以控制的。

虾米和另一位朋友也起了一点摩擦。但经过这件事，让虾米决定了一间事。事情不能再拖了。必须马上处理。。因此，它决定勇敢的游away. Hope this xiami make the right decision.

10:12 AM

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Not knowing it, I already stay here for 7 days. These 7 days I really learn a lot.

1. Treat all people equally, no matter what status they are. You do not excel anyone.
2. Everyone in the world has his strong point to learn from.
3. No matter where you goes, friends are important. They make your trip complete.
4. Travel really widen one' sight.

Tmr i'll be going back. bb, manila.I miz ya.

7:42 AM

Monday, September 28, 2009

This is my most memorable trip oversea: is my very first oversea business trip. Initially I am super reluctant to make this trip. The main reason is the insecurity that I had in my heart : All alone in a foreign country, a country which i had language barrier in ( My english is not powerful enuf). The other worry is the inconfidence I had with myself. Though I had work on this project ever since I joined the company., I'm still fresh out from school. This is a six digit project and i am handling all by my own. Super scary, but is a good experience.

I never regret of making this trip to Philippines, without my boss accompany. Overnight, i have a lot of Filipinos friends. They really melt my heart with their warmth and friendliness. They are really a butch of happy people who know how to enjoy life. After work, they will drop by at the lodge or restaurant near the seaside, enjoy live band music. This is really a relax experience and a great time to bond relationship.

This trip also let me had a chance to build up a network. Due to the size of the project, I get to know big shots like founder of the big US company, president of blah blah company. From this trip, i realise not all big shots are snobbish. They are actually quite approachable people and willing to share their experience with you.

This project also build up my guts. I actually dare to present right in front a group of experts uncles. And they are listening to what i say.what an experience.

The food here is also great. Seafood almost every meal. The seafood here is super fresh. the oyster here is so super fresh. I like the sashimi too. the meat is firm, and when you bite you can feel the freshness in the meat. talking of this make my saliva drip.

This Philippines trip can be tough, but i really learn a lot.

the sad thing that happen is the flood that occurs in manila. Let's mourn for the causalities.I was in the place of disaster. The fortunate thing is I was working in the office. This is the first time I experience flood. It can be say at that moment you are cut off from the outside world. You can only survive on the stuff you had at home. Although that day i had to work 24 hour, i enjoying it as i had friends to help me ard.

1:53 AM

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

心里有许多的不愿意，但我却无能为力。

心里有许多得无馁，我真不知如何面对。

人生真是有很多的无馁与不愿。。。